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Detours

Tim Connor, CSP
Speaker/Author/Trainer
704-895-1230

Have you ever taken a vacation or been on a road trip with a certain destination in your plans when suddenly you decided to take a detour, not due to construction but out of a whim?

Over the years I have thought about many of the wonderful experiences I have had that I would have missed had I not taken some of these detours. What about you and your life? Taking a detour now? Had some in the past? Let me ask you, while taking this new route through life were you disappointed that you were missing your planned destination or did you just embrace the new path with a sense of adventure, wonder and gratitude?

I can tell you after many detours in life that have put me where I am now I am filled with a sense of awe that had I not taken this different path I would have missed so many of life’s blessings. But the real question is – are you hesitating taking a detour now that feels right, for some hidden reason of fear or a sense that you think your life would suddenly be out of control?

No one can predict the outcome of any choice or decision as they move from one day to the next – period! No one can know for certain that a certain path will lead to the destination of their choice. And why is this? Well for starters have you ever considered that the path you were on and the route you were taking was preventing you from experiencing real joy and happiness or even success in life had you chosen to take a detour?

Life has an interesting way of changing our plans when we least expect them. My friend and mentor Eric Butterworth called these “God’s laws of adjustment.” I like to call them ‘unplanned detours’ and every time we are faced with the choice to follow a path that we believe is the one we are supposed to be travelling, life has an interesting way of putting an alternative option right in our face giving us the choice of – follow the path you are on – or take a detour.

I can also tell you that some of my biggest regrets and disappointments in life were when I failed to take a detour when it was presented to me whether in my mind or in reality. Whether it was in my career or in a relationship.

I can also tell you that I am the happiest I have ever been in my life due to a recent detour that I took, reluctantly at first, but it only took a few days of contemplation and introspection to just trust the detour and let the future unfold as I believe it was meant to. Ever been there? There now?

What does it take to find the courage, peace and sense of certainty to take a detour that is presented to us when we are on what we believe is a different, decisive and often even safe path that we have spent days, weeks or even years following?

As one who has often resisted many of these life detours out of a need to feel in control of my life, I must admit that taking many of them has not been an easy choice but once made, I was filled with commitment, passion, belief and a sense of inner peace.

The alternative, when avoiding many of these detours, was to constantly look back wondering – should I have? Why didn’t I? How would my life be different had I trusted the detour whether I knew the outcome or not? What kept me from a willingness to let go of what I erroneously believed was the direction I thought I was supposed to be heading?

Easy answer, in hindsight – I wanted control of my life – what a joke… Surrender for many people, no most people, is one of the most difficult actions to take. And why? It’s called control. Until we are ready and willing to trust life as it unfolds each day we may miss many of the most wonderful experiences life has to offer.

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